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this post is crap. don't read it. just putting it up to calm myeslf down.
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why must this be happening? i can't believe i'm actually letting all these happen. it doesn't hurt, but it's disappointing. and yes i'm bothered. i want to know, but how do i bring it up? i want it; at the same time i don't want it. and at the end of all these will i know why i subjected myself to such a thing, when i roughly know what the ending is like? will i cry about it? or will i laugh about it? it's sad. sad to see a person so undecisive. sad to see someone who doesn't choose her own path and go with the flow. it's even sadder if she ends up hurting herself knowing it.