why-

spring is ending soon, and somehow i don't seem to be looking forward to summer. in fact, i don't know what i want anymore. everything is just so wrong. i feel like i'm in the wrong place, at the wrong time. when i'm not supposed to, i'm there. when i'm supposed to, i'm not. and everything seems so hopeless that i can't even cry about it. where is the self-will when i need it most? where is the strength and courage when i desperately need it? i can't even find the courage to talk about it.

is it true that everything placed in my world are not meant for me? that everything is perishable, and when the time comes, it just goes? when i thought i found love, he left me. when i thought i'd have a best friend for life, i left her. when i thought i found comfort, it disappears. nothing stays in this world. it's so sad.