-what should she choose?

model. money. fame? so far my life in seattle has sounded pretty much like a melodramatic drama (the early days here?), and there's a new edition to this "teen fiction-ish" story.

on friday i accompanied my friend angie to a modeling agency which is recruiting new faces, for both commercial prints, high fashion etc. and happily enough when the agent saw me she asked me to come back for an interview on monday, and chirpily i said "sure!" anyway who would reject an offer, especially if it's a job offer of almost every teen girl's dreams? (i know i'm a college girl now but still it doesn't hurt to hold on to a tad of your high school dreams right?)

then on my way home i started thinking the benefits i'd gain if i go back. they desperately need asians, and this is america. which means that you don't have to be super pretty to be recruited. and what happens next if i get recruited? well, first, let's just say i can walk around with the pre/suffix "model". who cares about ANY gossips anymore! i'll also be earning money. well, 1 commercial ad (even if it's local) i get at least $1,200. every single hour i stay at the studios and take pictures i get paid at a rate of $150-$300/hr, and that's the local commercial wage. money = more shopping budget without the guilt of squandering your parents' hard earned money away. and who knows? i might be sort of famous. well, yeah i don't intend to be famous but if i get the chance to, why'd i want to miss it?

don was really nice to drive me over, and i was so nervous (although perhaps i don't look like?), the words i could vividly remember was "highly marketable", "asian", "we need you!" i was literally psyched. even during the monologue test, heather, the interviewer, was like "good! i like your style, it's very natural. i really like your enunciation" and stuff. i didn't do very well on the runway but she thinks that i can still manage to brush on that with a coach.

that's when reality kicks in. if i take this offer, i have to stay around. and i have to start as soon as wednesday. and that means no more road trip! (boo hoo!) not only that, during all this psyche and excitement i forgot that i'm an international student, which means that... i can't work. or at least i have to find out from my advisor. and i can guarantee that chances are pretty low. if i can, i have to go for a course which'll equip me with all the basic techniques which will be useful in the career. and that course is $1,800 in total. (heather thinks i can earn them back easily, but... my doubts?) not only i have to pay i'd have to cancel the whole road trip. and i really wanna go! and people'd be disappointed if i just cancel the whole trip cos i "wanna be a model". and that's when my dilemma kicks in. to go, or miss the whole opportunity? but maybe it isn't that dramatic in a sense that there's only a slim chance i'm able to work in the U.S. out of campus. but still...... the possibilities are endless right? and i'll be back facing this dilemma again. agh. it's so confusing!