looking back-

i was reading through my old posts from back when i started this blog... and i realized... that i'm so different now. so different from the time before i came to seattle, when i first came to seattle... and now. it seems like, i used to be more carefree and happy... and i enjoyed life better then. maybe some of the people who've known me from my high school days can see that. now, everything seems boring and dull... and as i read on it seems like my posts became more somber. is that just a phase of growing up? like, do people start getting bored of their lives as they age? the things that were exciting then are boring now. and... i don't know why. i don't know if it's normal... or did something happen to me that made me the way i am? and if so, what is it? i want to be carefree again... but... i don't know how to, and... a lot of things seem childish now. in a year's time, i'll be 20. i don't want to be childish at that age. but... does that imply that i can't go back to how i was? perhaps this is part of growing up.